Soft Skills- The Key To Networking Success

I recently attended a workshop that was supposed to teach people about marketing and in particular the art of networking. Although, the gentlemen, who introduced himself as a "Business Coach”, had some good overall tips and general information, he completely skipped over what I consider to be the most important part of networking and that is "Soft Skills."

Soft Skills are the non-tangible things that people pick up upon when engaging in conversation or when interacting with others in a networking setting. Soft skills are important because they are what people will remember about you and your business. People remember how they feel when they have new experiences and the includes meeting new people and using your business products and/or services.

The way that you talk to people- tone, voice fluctuation, voice volume, language, vocabulary and articulation are soft skills needed to be an effective communicator. Soft skills include the way you smile, if you are sincere in what you are talking about and how you talk about a topic. Effective soft skills include a real smile, without being giggly or over-the-top. Proper soft skills will gain attention without you trying to gain it. They also include eye contact, not getting in someone's space, but yet being close enough to them that you can hear them clearly and showing them non-verbally that you care about what they have to say. You can also master the art of soft skills by having decent breath, not having food in your in your teeth, making sure your makeup (for women) is not clumping and having well manicured hair. Soft skills include having a warm demeanor, but not being flirty or cocky. You should make mental notes about people to help you remember them. For me, sometimes it’s a question about their hobbies or family and other times it is if they are wearing something out of the ordinary or have a body feature that is memorable.

When engaged with more than one person, be sure to acknowledge with eye contact all those in the circle that you are engaged in. Step over and make room for someone entering your discussion group. If someone interrupts you or the person you are talking to, lift your hand with a quick gesture to show them that you heard them, but are not able to turn your immediate attention upon them. Do not rock or sway. Don't lean or push no matter how much your feet may hurt.

If you are sitting be sure to use proper table manners. Lean into the person you are talking with, but not so close you get squirted or squirt someone else with food and/or beverage if you have it or saliva.

Soft skills means remembering their name by the end of the conversation and repeating or saying their name as you wrap up engagement. If they made it clear to use their first name, then use it. "It was nice to meet you Frank, I will send you more information this week"- for example. If you were not given that permission, call them Mr. or Ms. or even Doctor if that is how they are introduced to you. You can even ask them for their preference, which is a sign of respect. Asking for more information is good, if done without being a "stalker."

Finally, before I walk away, I leave a person with a quick, natural, passive touch to the shoulder or a hand shake. This leaves a good and lasting impression. It leaves them feeling special and makes you more approachable for future engagement with them. It also shows a sense of caring, partnership, trust and sense of compassion. They will feel special and that feeling will stay with them. By the way, a good solid handshake (for women especially) represents a multitude of things including dignity, respectfulness, confidence, sincerity and again is a memorable mark for people when it comes to networking.

I will even add to the networking experience by writing a factoid down on their business card in front of them. This shows that you are making an effort to care about them, their business and that you want to share information back-and-forth. It also aids you in retaining information about them. I like to ask questions, but not too many and not too aggressively. Natural, professional behavior is a skill that takes work and experience, the best thing to do is to start practicing some of these tips out on family and friends.

Networking is not for shy people, however it can teach someone to not be as shy. If a person has passion for their service or product, it seems to me that the shyness would be overcome. (I am not shy though, so I don't know what it is like.) I have found it successful to not expect or wait for introductions, and do it myself as needed. I am always quick to compliment, quick to listen and slow to talk. I want to know and care about others and know that in the end, my turn for pitching will come and if it does not, that is OK, sometimes it is better to be a blessing and help someone else without something in return.

"Soft Skills 101" is what really sells your business because in the end people do business with people and decisions are many times made on how people feel when they experience you as the person behind the business. Therefore, you want them to remember you in a positive, professional, human way.

Lorrie Boyer is owner of Basket Designs Gift Baskets. Gift Baskets are Appreciation Marketing at its best! www.basketdesignsplus.com and www.basketsonline.com. 1-877-842-3843